Wine, Wedges, and Wanderlust

Finding Balance in the Waves

July 27, 2017 2 Comments

Breathe in. Float up. Breath out. Sway down. Breathe in. Splash. Breathe out.

I recently got an ear infection…who knew adults could get them?!?! Well, apparently everyone except me. Anyway, I got sick, developed an ear infection (or as I like to refer to it, an ice pick digging into my brain through my right ear), and I couldn’t hear out of my right ear for about three weeks. I was feeling off kilter and a bit foggy.

To be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit off kilter and foggy in many aspects of life.

Lina is officially ten months old – I should be “used to” life as it is – but it keeps changing. Even before she was born, life was changing every day. To think about my life a year ago…within 12 months, Conor and I had a new baby, I left teaching, and Conor started his new company. And we all know how well I do with change.

My life is so good. I am happy.  And, sometimes it feels completely natural. Other times, though, it seems so foreign. It feels like I’m playing catch up in my own life. Being with Catalina all day, every day…my days look nothing like they used to. I’m in new emotional territory. Even physically, I can see the changes that have occurred. I catch myself in the mirror and think, “who is she?” I keep desperately trying to find steady ground.

Conor, Catalina, and I went with my family and some of my oldest friends to the Gulf Coast for our annual beach trip. It was five days filled with sunshine, seafood, good conversation, sandcastles, loads of laughter, and a delicious shrimp boil. Going to North Padre, being surrounded by family and friends at the beach, I was able to return home.

While at the beach, I took time each day to float in the waves. It was odd, but floating in the waves was the most normal I had felt in weeks. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t hear out of my right ear, I wasn’t supposed to be able to hear. It didn’t matter that I felt a little unsteady, I didn’t need to feel firm ground. When I fought the tide, I got a jarring face full of salt water.

All I needed was to surrender to the waves and find peace in the tides. When I let myself be tossed around by the waves, I was most balanced. It was a return to myself. Floating in the waves, well, it was a gigantic reminder to surrender.

How many reminders do I need?! When I stop struggling to be in control, that’s when I am filled with joy. When I surrender to the chaos, surrender to the crazy, and surrender to the unplanned…that’s when I am most myself and most at peace.

Breathe in. Float up. Breath out. Sway down. Breathe in. Splash. Breathe out.

winewedgesandwanderlust@gmail.com

My name is Michelle Scaperlanda McWay. After deciding in 2014 to embark on a “year without a plan” with my husband, I learned that our lives are the true adventure. This is a blog about my obsession with food, my fun with style, the beautiful and inspiring places Conor and I explore, the lessons I continually have to relearn, and my struggle with living “a year without a plan.”

2 Comments

  1. Reply

    Mari M Leal

    July 28, 2017

    Love your Blog.
    I always forward it to my FB page so I may read it at my leisure & share it with my ‘friends’ who would appreciate raising a Catholic Family in our new century.
    I especially appreciated your perspective on water & how it centers you, your life, your body.
    Being an Aquarius, Feb. 15; I too find my true self in & around water…especially the oceans, gulfs, sounds, & lakes.
    I have a pool where I live & I try to swim everyday…early mornings or after 9p…nobody swims then.
    It’s just my God & I, the heavens above, early morning sky & clouds…evening stars, planets, & constellations….just little old me & all of God’s Glories!
    I hope to see you again in September when I will be privileged to witness my first beatification. How blessed!
    My love & prayers continue for you & your young & adventurous family. I’ve not met your husband of five years…& of course there’s ‘the world’s youngest female traveler…your daughter??❤️??

    • Reply

      winewedgesandwanderlust@gmail.com

      July 29, 2017

      Thank you for reading! I really enjoy writing it, so I’m always glad to hear when others enjoy reading it 🙂

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